Lifelong romance is pretty fascinating

I had been so busy loving a man more than I should that I was not able to begin my lifelong romance until he ended his life.

In fact, I did not know what is my lifelong romance until he was physically gone from me.

It was a death that changed my life forever.

It happened suddenly in beautiful January 2009.

The universe was celebrating my new journey when I was crying.

In his casket, he looked like he was giving me a subdued smile when I was crying 

as if he knew that I would be able to rejoice to live my life without him, 

as if he knew that my lifelong romance would surely happen, 

and as if he was confident that my love toward him is so powerful that nothing would destroy me.

Like Cherokee's proverb, we cried when we were born and the world rejoiced, but we can live our life so that when we die, the world cries and we rejoice.

Now, I know that he rejoiced when he died.

Now, I am rejoicing my life with every ounce of my being knowing that living the life having so much to gain and nothing to lose is pretty powerful.

Living the life like Oscar Wild said, "to love oneself is beginning of lifelong romance" is pretty fascinating.