Beautiful past ~Unknown tomorrow ~ Treasures

Longing for the past and witnessing its beauty, 

I feel a little melancholy for unknown tomorrow 

but realize how amazing it is to have beautiful past as my treasures to be proud of.

過ぎ去った日々や出来事がどんどん素敵になってくる。

未知の明日が少しだけ寂しい。

でも過去が美しくなるなんて最高の財産。

If I can touch those hearts....- Buckwheat noodle (Soba) Salad

Again, I am driving home from graveyard shift looking up the night sky ahead of me, listening to O'Jay's old song "Loving You" and loving the thought of loving someone again.

My new joy is to find a moment to get more closer to my true core.

In order to do so, I have to touch so many hearts....

I started reading Chief Seattle's letter... "How can you buy or sell the sky? The land? ...if we do not own the freshness of the air and the sparkle of the water, how can you sell them?" and feeling my heart beating faster.

I started thinking of the moment when Beethoven played "Ode to Joy" for the first time in public yet he could not hear the overwhelming applause and remembering that we can make impossible possible.

I started playing the piano again and touching the heart of Bach every day even if it can be only ten minutes.

Then, I thought, if I can touch those amazing hearts, what else do I want more?

If I can touch those hearts, I don't want anything.

Maybe my life is already complete because I am touching and feeling those hearts and crying...

This is my true core and true love.

And I can fall in love again. Seriously.

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I tend to forget how amazing heritage I have by growing up eating Buckwheat noodle, which contributes not only to my health and diet but also to a way of feeling who I am ...loving to be born as a Japanese!!!

Ingredients ・4 servings:

• 4 bundles of dried Soba noodle (buckwheat noodle)
• green onions (chopped)
• Red peppers (julienne cut)
• Edamae, carrots, or any vegetables fit to your adventure
• Sesame oil : 2 tablespoon or as you like
• Ponzu sauce: 2 tablespoon or more as you like as you taste
• Seasoned Rive Vinegar (Sushi Vinegar): 2 tablesoon or more as you like
• Sugar: 1~2 teaspoon
• Mirin: 1 tablespoon or more (optional)

Cooking ・4 servings:

• Cook Soba noodles until al dente
• Drain when done and rinse with cold water
• In a large bowl, put noodle and all the vegetables
• Add the seasoning 
• Toss everything very well

Life goes on no matter what....so many gifts in my life

This Christmas, I saw beautiful gift boxes at a Coffee shop falling from the sky.

Those were shinning in the pitch-dark sky as if telling me that there are so many gifts in our life.

It reminded me of amazing gifts that I received all these years.

I started thinking of those gifts and felt tremendous fortune and joy in my life because I have those gifts forever in me and nobody can take away from me.

They instantly froze in my heart when give to me and manifest in my vision once a while when I need most.

A beautiful sky that I saw many years ago,

A stormy weather that I enjoyed so much in a lonely night,

Many beautiful tears from my friends when I had to say good-bye,

My mother's graceful smiles,

My soul mate's gaze far beyond the horizon, 

and so on.

Life goes on no matter what...

Mozart's Coffee Roasters in Austin Texas

An artist ~ an extraordinary spirit

You can buy the whole world and you are empty

but when you create the whole world, you are full.

~Louise Nevelson~

Louise Nevelson had never been real to me until I started discovering a piece of me that I never knew.

It happened at the right time when I started to catching a glimpse of reality such as

my dog's aging by seeing him slightly declining of his mobility, 

my own aging by sending a telegraph to my nephew's wedding in Japan who used to be on my lap and 

seeing myself in the self-view of a virtual conference at work and feeling "Is this me? I look like my grandma. My grandma was prettier than this "

I may not have such an extraordinary spirit like her who never gave up on her ability to create although she was discouraged about life and discouraged about blind people not understanding her art almost 40 years but I have a spirit to feel her closer to me than ever now.

She said, "The very nature of creation is not a performing glory on the outside, it's a painful, difficult search within"

Louise, just like your art, which some people say they can hear Bach, I want to create something that people can hear music and feel their own true heart.

Nothing can surpass you when you understand who truly you are and your depth.

A perfect hideaway~ Shinjuku,Tokyo to Sado Island ~

I felt so isolated from my reality when I was riding a train in Shinjuku,Tokyo and watching those stoic Japanese people who seemed to be so indifferent to each other.

It was surreal that I was the only one who was dragging a heavy suitcase in the crowded train and I was the only one who was gasping.

As I was holding on to the strap and calming down, I shifted my gaze to outside of the window and the very familiar and nostalgic scenery was coming into view.

tall buildings...

huge signs of corporations...

the roofs of the houses overlapping...

the sky....

and myself

I felt myself staring into my soul and remember I was once one of these people.

I feel a wonder of life that your life can be changed in one moment, one day, one year, one decade, two decades, three decades, and so on.

Feeling an isolation in a crowded train and staring into my soul already gave me a feeling of perfect hideaway even before arriving at Sado Island, where my friend would describe as an incredibly quiet village with almost no people to be seen in the streets yet feeling a buzz.

This trip traveling two-thirds of Japan visiting my friends and family and ending in Sado Island gave me a complete rest and freedom because I was able to examine my life and see who I was and who I am, and maybe, who I will be…

I realized that dealing with daily choirs, going to work every day and making ends meet made me feel this completeness.

I am so glad that I am an ordinary working class person.

I am feeling a buzz in my life.

"Time" fascinates me - This moment is all I got

"Time" fascinates me.

When I sat on the same spot of a front porch where my soul mate sat 40 years ago with his first guitar, I felt something so incredible in "time"

When I saw the sky and the trees from a window of my friend's car driving from Morioka to Aomori in Japan, I felt something so beautiful in "time".

The "time" did not destroy a beauty of the sky and trees in that Northern Part of Japan since I left there.

The "time" did not make me sad when I sat on the front porch but made the 12 years old boy in the pic with his guitar so shinning because his soul mate visited and honored him 40 years later.

Facing "time" brings me those inexplicable and mysterious feelings and I think it was probably one of the most amazing experiences that I face every day life.

Every time I face "time", I realize something so important in life.

I cannot live in the past.

I cannot live in the future.

This moment is all I got.

Addicted to the enigmatic country ~ Burdock root tempura udon (Gobo tempura)

My girl friend cooked a burdock Root tempura Udon when I stayed at her house in Japan.
It was a little surreal to see someone peeling the burdock root neatly, soaking it in the water, draining it, making tempura batter, deep frying it and boiling Udon at the same time.

She performed all those detailed preparation beautifully and smoothly.

As I was watching her performance, I realize that Japan is becoming more and more beautifully enigmatic place to me and I am becoming more myself.

I almost forgot about how it is like to make a simple Udon to someone I care.

I realize that a genuine friendship does not reside in something so tangible but intangible, such as just being together, eating food together and laughing about how we can be silly together.

The laughter together with best friends has probably the most power to erase all those little annoying things instantly and it makes you realize that what is a real happiness.

I am in love with my friendships and addicted to this enigma.