Yes to my life in spite of everything / Sepia tone flavor - stir fried vegetables

Yesterday, I was looking at a person's eyes as I was listening to the person's talk and piercing through its surreal face, self-deception and pathetic soul and realized that I can no longer be mad at such people anymore no matter what they do to me, because I could see their ignorance of their true nature manifesting in their physical presence. 

Just like a yoga instructor in California once said, "we hold negative emotions in our hip such as a fear, guilt and sadness....therefore you can release those emotions by opening muscles around your hips"

As soon as I recognize their physical presence is proportionate to their feelings, I open my spiritual muscles so I can loosen up my reaction to their strong negative emotions.

Never knew that a good human nature - compassion - works that way until I encounter such people. 

For the first time, Dr. Frankl's words, "Yes to my life in spite of everything" become real to me.

I must say "Yes" to such people and embrace them so that I can be untouchable in spite of them trying to destroy my life.

I will continue to say yes to my life......in spite of having too much of a gap between a dream and reality.

*******

Stir fried vegetables

Whenever I need to purify my body and soul from those contaminated realities, I eat stir-fried vegetables with rice, noodle or just by itself and a nostalgia comes back to me...

I forgot how I was an indestructible Japanese teen-age girl who ate lots of stir-fried vegetables which still echoed in me and actually made me who I am today.

Ingredients:

• 2 Table spoon oil
• Fresh Ginger & Garlic (finely chopped) or Ginger & Garlic paste
• chili pepper (small amount...optional...it will enhance the flavor better)
• sea salt
• 1/2 Table spoon sesame oil
• red bell pepper
• yellow onion (thinly sliced)
• white cabbage (coarsely cut)
• mushrooms
• bean sprouts
• broccoli (chopped)
• Any vegetables you like such as green onions, carrots, squash
• Any meats you like such as pork, chicken, beef

Cooking:

• In a work or large skillet, heat the oil over high heat
• Add chili pepper, ginger and garlic
• Add  vegetables in the order of hard veges to soft - broccoli->red peppers->onions->mushrooms->cabbage
• Continue to stir fry until the vegetables becomes crisp-tender
• Sprinkle sea salt
• Add sesame oil
• Serve immediately

Passion

Go where your passion point and crash down if you have to.

I am about to crash down because my passion is dallying with dangers such as my complex emotions, insecurity and impatience.

I know I am almost there...

I know I am the one who created such monstrous fears and dangers in me.

I remember, long long time ago, my childhood friend got rid of my fears instantly through her kind words just like dew drops on the leaves disappearing with the morning sun .

Her words are still echoing in me.

My passion will not cease as long as I remember her compassion.

Transforming the eternal regret to "being trembled all over with joy"

I thought I regretted eternally for what I had done when I looked at my father's picture in a frame in my hometown Japan right after 12 hours flight from California. 

I remember depicting a word "Eternal Regret-永遠の後悔-" in my heart and realizing that the regret feeling was coming from neither the fact that I did not make to his funeral, nor I had not seen him for 14 years since I moved to US, but the fact that I made his crying face like a child as our last farewell when I departed Japan 14 years ago.

I could be crushed by this regret the rest of my life, but instead, I determined that I would not be defeated by it and make it as the most valuable lesson I could ever learn in my life.

The lesson was....we can only live in the moment, and every moment is a preparation for death, therefore, I need to live every moment as if it is my last moment of my life.

Now I can say that it is the best lesson that a parent can teach to children because I am living my life with my dream as a result of his lesson.

I am now trembled all over with joy. 

Otochan Yatta!!! お父ちゃん、やったぁ！

I just finished my final brush-up for my first book published in Japan in December.

 "Afterword" in my book:             

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

     Five years ago, I finished this original manuscript and mailed to a publisher in Japan for the first time. My soul mate, Clark, was still alive and I had not written "the second chapter - his funeral - " yet. After mailing my manuscript, I was driving a road after the rain exhilaratingly and realized that something caught in my eyes in the rear-view mirror. I glanced the mirror and saw a magnificent rainbow. I immediately stopped my car on a frontage road and gazed the rainbow for a while.

     I still remember vividly that it was a beautiful sunset time in Northern California.  The rainbow was as if celebrating my accomplishment of my dream.  

     My dream is to shine my soul mate's life and also to shine everyone's life through my book. 

     This book, my first step of my dream, contains many messages to those who follow their dreams, pursue wonderful friendships and soul mates, pursue career goals, struggle addiction and violent relationship, fathers raising daughters and those who don't care what others say but to live true to yourself, to all these people who fight every day for happiness.........and if, I can be of your inspiration to have hope and a sense of humor in the middle of your worst moment in your life, my mission is accomplished.

     

     I can still hear Clark humming "It was a dark and stormy night" every time he passed behind me when I was writing my book.

あとがき・・・

五年前に、このオリジナルの作品を完成させて、初めて出版社に原稿を投稿した日のことです。
まだソウルメートのクラークも生きていて、「第二の幕」は書かれていませんでした。

投稿した後、喜び一杯の私は、近所の郵便局から帰る途中、雨上がりの爽快な道をドライブしていました。
運転していて、ふと、バックミラーに何かがちらちらと見えたので、目をやったら、それは、鮮やかな虹でした。
まるで、虹が私を追いかけているようでした。私は、すぐ、わき道に車を止めて、車から降り、その虹にしばらく見とれていました。
美しい北カリフォルニアの夕暮れ時だったことは、今でも鮮明に覚えています。
その虹は、まるで、私の夢の達成感を祝福しているようでした。
私の夢とは、亡きソウルメートの生命を輝かせること、そして、それだけに終わらず、私が触れる人たちすべてを輝かすということです。
その夢の第一歩である本書は、夢を追い続けている人、素晴らしい友情やソウル・メートを求めている人、娘を持つ父親、キャリアで成功したい人、暴力の関係や中毒に悩む人、そして、とにかく誰に何と言われても気にせず自分らしく生きようとする人、そういう、日々、戦っている人たちへのメッセージが詰まっています。そして、一人でも多くの人が、どんなにつらい時でもユーモアのセンスと希望を持ち続けられるお手伝いができたら幸いです。

今でも、執筆をしていると、私の執筆中に、クラークが私の後ろを通るつど、鼻歌交じりで言っていた、”It was a dark and stormy night...暗い嵐の夜だった…” が聞こえてきます。
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Being nostalgic and funny survived me from those days in parents beating me with chopsticks, people fucking up my name and to huge Prada sunglass.

When I read "My Chinese parents used to beat me with a feather duster" in Facebook Group, I felt very nostalgic and could visualize the scene that parents punishing the children with whatever they happen to have in their hands, chopstick, spatula, slipper, etc, however, I never saw my parents using a feather duster maybe because I am a native Japanese.

I burst into laughing after pondering Chinese parents' feather duster and started searching more funny group names to make me feel either nostalgic or funny.

Against Gay Marriage? Then Don't Get One and Shut the Fuck Up... 

I agree. 

No, I Don't Care If I Die At 12AM, I Refuse To Pass On Your Chain Letter...

Remembering those days that I was so naive that I tried to pass those letters but always gave up in the first one or two people. 

Keep Your Fucking Hand Down in Lecture and Shut Up. No One Cares...

Nostalgic scene when I was a student. I experience this at my company meetings sometimes..."Any questions?", the boss asked with gracious smile, and I looked at the people with gracious smile saying to myself, "Please don't...don't ask ...just let it go."

I have to sing the ABC's to know which letter comes before the other...

Unfortunately, Japanese characters consists of 52 not 26 and we don't have the ''あいうえお..." songs, so we had no choice but to remember which letter comes before the other.

I'm Tired Of People Fucking Up My Name...

I have changed my jobs many times and every time I started a new job, I had to talk to mean IT staffs and had them change my last name from Lida to Iida almost 20 years here in US and it still happens.

I Want To Punch Slow Walking People In The Back Of The Head...

We walk a lot in Japan and I felt like this a lot in Japan, but here in Texas, I drive a lot and see so many Slow Walking People at parking lots, so I have to wait forever to park my car at a perfect spot which is right before my face, and wondering if they are doing it intentionally right before my face. 

If 500 000 join this group I will change my middle name to Facebook...

We don't have middle name in Japan, so I don't know how it is like to change middle name.

When I was your age, Christmas had snow...

I miss seeing adults shoveling snow at a roof so that we don't have to get in and out from the second floor window. (Aomori prefecture in Japan)

Whatever I did when i was drunk didn't happen if i can't remember it...

Those days of Wine and Roses are gone...I am a proud recovery alcoholic!

I FLIP MY PILLOW OVER TO GET TO THE COLD SIDE...

Yes, I do and it felt so good...nothing makes me feel so refreshed than the cold side of my pillow in the middle of night.

How to get GAS back down to $1.30 per gallon...

Hope those days will be back because I have to go to a grocery shopping on my lunch break. Wish my company's refrigerator equipped with freezer so I can buy frozen natto (fermented soy beans).

Honestly, I write "lol" and I'm not Even Laughing...

Nowadays, it is easy to fool people through our advanced technology, but the same time, I have learned to grasp the energy when I read email or text...I am not psychic, but I do. 

People who press the handicap button when they are not handicapped...

I never did this because I felt like I would be punished if I did.

Be a good friend... don't tag that unattractive picture of me....

I admit that I have to take so many pictures of myself in order to get a decent one to be shown in public or hide majority of my face with a huge Prada sunglass which I bought with a gift card given by the company I work for and be creative hitting the right angles the pictures to be taken at.

Japanese Marinated Soft Boiled Eggs - New flavor in a process of Self Revitalization

Have you ever done something for yourself by yourself 

to view a true beauty of the world? 

I mean not to be done by somebody else for you but by yourself for YOU....

I realized the reason why I have been enjoying my life so much lately.

It is because I rearrange the flowers on my kitchen table not because my long time wonderful friend coming over for dinner (she just visited me recently and enjoyed the same flower) but because for my soul to enjoy its beauty in my room.

This act, changing the water, cutting the stems and rearranging the flower, led me to think of the pains of people whose life are so numbed with self-deceiving that they cannot even change the water of the flower vase in order to view its sustainable and continuous beauty.

Of course, the flower will die soon and I will die some day.

But the act trying to sustain the beauty of the flower is not only about viewing the true beauty but also leading me to a self revitalization, and it engraves in my energy (storage of my karma) and take me to the next journey.

I call this act as - self-revitalization- and realize that it is everywhere in my daily life.

*******

For example, marinated soft boiled eggs had been nothing but just a topping for Ramen (Japanese egg noodle soup) when I was in Japan and never thought I would make it by myself and eat it in the corner of my small kitchen, and feeling so melted at the moment I put it in my mouth, and said, "Ohhhhh....is this real?"

This is a self revitalization....something I never imagined that I would do it for myself. Nothing making me more happier than eating soft boiled eggs right after pondering the pains of people.

Ingredients:

• 4 eggs
• 1 cupt of water
• 1/2 cup of Mirin
• 1/2 cup of Soy sauce
• sugar (optional)
• 1/2 cup dashi soup stock (dissolve 2 teaspoon gragules or 1 stick) *Refer to Ingredients for Hijiki Dish in Pages

Cooking:

• Combine Mirin, Soy Sauce, Sugar (1 tsp or more) and Dashi soup to a boil in a medium sauce pan.  Set aside
• Bring water to a boil and carefully put 4 eggs in the boiling water. Cook for about 6 minutes. (Pierce fat end of egg with a thumbtack to make a tiny hole. This prevents the egg from cracking, I never did this). 
• Drain hot water and soak the eggs under the cold running water, and peel carefully.
• Soak the eggs in the Sauce and store in the refrigerator.
• Will be ready after 12 hours for sure but still delicious in a few hours!

My Hand Roll Sushi Party....Revealing truly who we are...food monsters

It is like a domino effect. It just keep going and going... 

I am becoming happier, healthier and funnier once I  become more aware of the unnecessary things in my life that I need to sift through and courageously recognized that I no longer connect with miseries and angers which comes from poor souls.

I guess we are all insecure to a certain degree and don't want to lose connections with something that you don't have such as social status, wealth, the physical beauty, talent, persuasive eloquence and charisma, etc.

However, the domino effect of the awareness which leads me to a disconnection with poor souls and me becoming happier, healthier and funnier is so tremendous that I can even appreciate things that I could never appreciate before such as eating girl scout cookies and watching a football game that I don't care so much, and I realize that I really care what I am doing with these amazing friends who do not care what I am but care who I am.

I can now gladly lose connections with something I don't have - social status, wealth, talent, charisma, etc, but I realize, in fact, I got all!

My social status - happy blogger

My wealth - T-Bone, my dog

My physical beauty - iron skin and thick skin coming from no strict diet

My talent - cooking and eating with food friend monsters

My charisma - honest eloquence

Oh my!!!! Is this really happening? This is my fifth adopted family and friends that I regularly cook for.....but you know what?  life will be so bored without cooking and eating together with food friend monsters.

いただきま～す！

Hand Roll Sushi

Ingredients:

For Sushi Rice:

3 cup Japanese rice

*1/3 cup rice vinegar

*3 Tbsp sugar

*1tsp salt

(substitute for 1/3 cup seasoned rice vinegar)

For Fillings:

Cucumber

Avocado

Eggs

Sashimi grade fish of your choice

salmon, tuna, salmon roe

spicy scallop (see the recipe)

1 sheet of Nori (seaweed)

Soy sauce

Wasabi tube

Picked ginger

• Spicy scallop - chopped bay scallop and mix with Japanese mayonnaise, sesame oil, red pepper flakes, ponzu sauce
• Slice the fish, cucumber, avocado, and other ingredients into the long stick size
• Cut sheets of seaweed into quarters. Put some Sushi Rice on left third of seaweed, add fillings in the middle of the rice. Roll it into a cone shape.